The difference between Inhibited and Uninhibited RAD

     It's time for another post on Granny Dew's "Rad"ical News. On one post I explained a little about Reactive Attachment Disorder. Did you know there are two different types of RAD? The first type is "inhibited" and the second type is "uninhibited". Let me explain the difference between the two types.
     The child with uninhibited Reactive Attachment is the life of the party! He/she will be so charming and alluring it would be hard to believe there are any problems at all for this child; but there are hidden truths and fears that control his/her life. Neighbors, teachers and clergy do not see the messages of self sabotage being displayed before their eyes but they may ask why does that child keep losing his scout shirt over and over again? Because the child is losing his shirt on purpose! The child may be gifted in so many ways. It may seem that this child could be a genius and the grading scale in the elementary years of the child's life can look very successful. Why? Because the child is not worried about peer pressure or emotionally being accepted by others and can therefore focus well on the lessons at school. The teacher seems confused when the mother comes to the school to tell them the child they are teaching is not emotionally well. The parent worries that the child's main goal is to gain control over the teacher's classroom. The parent worries that the child might be stealing objects from within the classroom. The parent worries that the child might even perpetrate against other class members when the teacher is not looking. The teacher thinks the parent is crazy because this is the child who gives her a hug each day and looks lovingly into her eyes to gain her trust. The teacher is often surprised at the end of the school year to see a shift in the relationship she thought she was building with this most loving child. The teacher will ask the parent what happened, why does this child seem so hateful toward me? The only response the parent can give is, "Congratulations...the child saw attachment forming with you and decided to hate you as much as he/she hates me because attachment is the deepest fear this child has." By the way, these kids do not like success and once they figure out they are succeeding they will do anything in their will power to fail. Success means they believe in the systems the world has set up for people and they do not believe in trusting people.
      Let's talk about inhibited Reactive Attachment. The inhibited child will have no preferred caregiver, will rarely seek comfort in times of stress, show a minimum of positive affection and experience difficulties regulating their emotions. This child will seem very aloof to most people and will often scowl if people approach them. They have no friends because of their lack of communication skills in their childhood years and when children try to reach out to the RAD child they are snubbed and ignored. It takes many years of therapy to help these children learn how to stabilize their emotions. It's very hard to raise a child with RAD, whether the child has inhibited or uninhibited RAD. The parents in the home are dealing with hours of raging, oppositional defiant behaviors, eating disorders, destruction of family possessions, stealing, lying, killing pets, fecal smearing, urinating into heat vents and a few other problems I dare not mention.
     I believe this is a good place to stop for this discussion. The main point I want to make is how much the families love these kids. We want to help them in any way we can. It is not the child's fault in any way. These kids were dealt a very discouraging hand as they came into this world of unfair.

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