Dissociative what?

     Have you ever heard about Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's one of the diagnoses that can sometimes come with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I remember one time when I took a child to a neurologist for an MRI and a series of EEG's. He came back into the room on our next appointment with the results and told us it seemed the child was having seizure activity in the brain; he further explained he was not able to diagnose the seizure activity in the brain because insurance companies would not allow him to do it. I did not relate the experience to Dissociative Identity Disorder at the time because I had not heard of it. My mind has wandered back to the appointment after hearing one of my children was diagnosed with DID. Could it be possible seizures in the brain could cause DID? I will probably never know? There are so many mysteries surrounding Reactive Attachment Disorder and I know many parents who are trying to figure it out.
     I found out about Dissociative Identity Disorder as I continued the research for my kids. The best way to explain it to others is telling a story from my teen years: "My boyfriend and I were driving down State Street when an elderly lady ran in front of our car and ended up flipping over the top to fall on the ground behind the car. I jumped from the car to see what I could do to help her. She asked me to look for her purse and as I looked down I saw it on her arm. I felt panic sweeping through my mind as I tried to determine whether she was paralyzed or not. The next thing I knew I was sitting in a police car with the lights flashing around me. The officer was half way through a sheet of questions, and was about to ask me the next one, when I realized I must have been answering some of his questions already! I couldn't remember getting into his car? I didn't know how I had answered any of his questions? I didn't know if the lady was still out there or had been taken to a hospital? The rest of the night was a blur as I returned home to fall into my bed. I could hardly explain what had happened on the following morning." It was a very hard and scary experience for me so I realized dissociating was scary for my child. I could only imagine the turmoil it created.
     There are many different diagnoses parents receive about their children who suffer from RAD and one of the hardest is Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD, which means the child is opposing everything mom and dad request from them because they believe parents can not be trusted if they try to attach. I guess the child does not want the new love the parent's are trying to give because trying to learn how to love hurt too much the first time around. They had tried love and it did not come back to the children. It almost killed them emotionally. It's really hard for these children to let go of control because they live very fear based lives. The fear of commitment or fear of love is the focus they have. It's crazy because they do not fear climbing the tallest trees or running in front of speeding cars! The repulsive reactions from these children cause many distressful and hurtful moments for moms and dads. People on the outside of these families do not know the histories of the children and so the judgment starts (but that's another blog).
     I could name some of the other diagnoses involved with RAD children but let me suffice it to say just about any emotional disorder in this world can be related to Reactive Attachment Disorder; autism,  ADHD, Schizophrenia, anti-social behaviors, addictive behaviors, gender identity, and the list goes on... The main thing to remember is these kids are amazing! They have great talents and are very gifted! They have troubles in most of their close personal relationships because of fear based brain activity but with the right help I believe they can overcome it too. There is a parenting group working together to find better therapies and answers for these children. If you go to the 'Parent Advocacy Council-RAD' on Facebook we would love to have you join the conversation.

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